How can I get disability for my depression and anxiety?

I realize lazy, irresponsible losers play this hand quite often just to sit home and collect, however.....I've actually had a very serious case of anxiety and depression since I was 18, and now I'm 30. Needless to say, I currently work, but no matter what job I'm doing, I can't do a good job....and this is not because I don't try, my depression and anxiety get in the way each and every time!!! I think I've had over 30 different jobs since I was 16. Medications have never worked for me, self medicating only made life more difficult and unpleasant, and lastly pretending that I was OK to please others at work was like trying to live a double life. So many times I'd get pulled aside at work, and th eboss was always patient wit me to begin with but soon, the same routine builds.....She the stupid one, ohh Gosg I don't wanna work with her, and then the worst of all, the boss would take me aside and tell me that they don't want to let me go but.......I'm sure you can figure out the rest! I'm just so mentally and physically exhausted all of the time!!! I move slow, there is no pep in my step, and I wear my heart on my sleeve....I don't want to be out!!! I want to stay in where I can feel somewhat stable, and not so sad, scared, and sick. I live in NH with my parents which makes matters worse. They want me out on my own, but the state won't help me because I live here ( they assume my parents will just take care of me until they die)...it's a stupid cycle!! It makes me really angry! I just know that I am a deserving, suffering candidate......how can I get all the benefits??? I'm mentally disabled....as much as it hurts to say that phrase!!